I swallowed my judgements when I heard this from one of my students, Julia, who came for coaching. “I want to talk to people!” I remained in rapt attention wanting to know more. “I can talk to only 3-4 friends. I want to be like those guys who can talk endlessly.” Any recent interactions you can help me understand with? I prodded.

“I and my friend took a cab to the conference in Ipoh. It is a 2-hour drive. She, my friend, was talking to the driver most of the journey. There was a lot of things that she can talk to and listen from a stranger, whom she is not going to meet again. I wondered how it happens with her. How can she have a rapport with anyone?”

Rapport! Yeah, that’s the right word. How do we have rapport with a person? Me and Julia explored.

“How can I ask and engage in conversation?” I suggested her to imaging a conversation. After a pause, “The conversation was awkward. I didn’t have anything to ask other than name and hobbies. Why lah?”

Rapport is a harmonious relation where each can understand feelings and communicate well. Rapport happens when we are interested in the other person, in knowing them as well care for them.

“Let me observe Jacklyn whom I want to have a good friendship. I will observe her and find what she is about” We parted with the action plan to meet again in two weeks.

Have you felt rapport with anyone in the first conversation? How do you develop rapport? Comments….