It was a rush morning. We were late for his school. My sarcasm at the moment didn’t get the usual reaction from him, he snapped with wet eyes. He admonished me, “your comments hurt me”. I tried to explain my action but could not do it even for myself. As we walked, I gave him a challenge, “Do you think you can fight hurt with kindness?” I also entered the challenge.
Searching the title in google got me results on how we hurt others with our kindness. The site, sixth in the list, was related to my content and gave good points. Let me relate my journey towards this commitment for myself more than my son.
I realized over time that many conversations and interactions left a bitter after-taste in me. It was either the hurt from me or the other person. I was concerned about the other, but more concerned about me. It was primarily due to my ego that led to hasty judgements. When my colleague, Ammar, asked me about the work he had assigned me, I judged his authority to question. The answer was simple, to say I did the work or not. Why did a negative thought come to me. I was mixing my perception about Ammar to his question. If I had the maturity, I could have separated my ego from my response. I didn’t respond, just smiled. I promised myself that I will respond than react.
This is where empathy and compassion came to my aid. After every interaction, I actively efforted to understand the situation, context, and the person. I put all possible explanation to the interaction. I role played many responses that I could have made to that interaction. The response with active compassion or kindness gave the best result. I am armed to fight hurt with kindness. Every interaction is a learning opportunity to get my next interaction better.
My son has not yet found success. I have not yet got complete success. My effort is succeeding. How do you engage with hurt?
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